The Holly In Grief: My Personal and Professional Journey through Grief during the Holidays

The holiday season, while oftentimes is a time of joy and laughter, can also be a reminder of the loved ones we've lost. As a mental health professional, I've spent a huge portion of my career helping others navigate different problems and creating solutions. But after experiencing a significant loss of my own, the holidays took on an entirely new meaning for me. Here are a few personal and professional tips that have guided me through challenging times.

1. Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings:

One of the hardest lessons I learned was that it was okay not to be okay. Grief doesn't abide by a calendar. It's okay to feel sadness, anger, or emptiness, even during the holidays. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment.

2. Create New Traditions:

In my journey, I found solace in creating new traditions. This might mean volunteering at a local charity, taking a holiday trip, or simply lighting a candle in memory of your loved one. New traditions can help honor your loved one while providing a new focus for the holiday season.

3. Reach Out:

As a professional, I always emphasize the importance of connection. If you're feeling isolated, contact a trusted friend or family member. Consider attending a grief support group or seeking professional help. You don't have to navigate your grief alone.

4. Practice Self-Care:

Grief can be physically exhausting. Make sure you're taking care of your body by eating well, exercising regularly, and getting enough sleep. Consider incorporating mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, into your daily routine.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries:

The holiday season often comes with social gatherings and obligations. However, it’s important to set boundaries and prioritize your mental health. Learn to say ‘no’ when you feel overwhelmed or exhausted. Focus on activities and events that bring you joy and allow yourself to opt out of those that don’t align with your well-being.

6. Focus on Gratitude:

Practicing gratitude can help shift your perspective and bring positivity into your life. Take a moment each day to reflect on things you’re grateful for. It could be as simple as a warm cup of coffee or a kind gesture from a friend. Cultivating gratitude can help counteract negative thoughts and promote a more positive mindset.

Navigating grief during the holidays is challenging, but it's important to remember you're not alone. It's okay to seek help and lean on others for support. By honoring your feelings, creating new traditions, reaching out for support, practicing self-care and boundary setting, and giving yourself permission to grieve, you can find your own path through the holiday season.